My honest review of medical school
where do I even begin?
I could say that it has been the most challenging and intense time of my life...
but that would be an understatement.
It’s like constantly dancing the limbo with the pole being lowered and lowered, as you perform with ever-increasing difficulty. It’s being pumped with adrenaline 24/7, in between a sprint and a tiring jog at all times.
It’s spending half a decade studying until ungodly hours, slaving your way through question banks, memorising naughty mnemonics and essentially feeling like the stupidest person in the room when you’re surrounded by the country’s smartest minds. Surrounded also, by the inevitable drama and fuckeries that will naturally occur on a university campus full of young people. The search for real friendship, relationships, loneliness, scandals and rumours. And to add fuel to the fire, dealing with actual life; family feuds, death of a loved one, chronic illness and poor mental health. All the while trying to get 8 hours of sleep, having a part-time job and maintaining a social life.
It’s a balancing act where nothing feels tipped in your favour.
Imagine all of this, all at once, while also being expected to be professional, empathetic and emotionally resilient enough to work with patients who are also carrying their own problems and emotional baggage, and may spout abuse and racist microaggressions at you. While trying to build a career, with OSCE examiners, judging you not only on your clinical skills but also your charisma and physical appearance, leaving out marks, allowing unconscious biases to cloud their judgement ( particularly if you are a person of colour, yep I said it. see https://www.bmj.com/content/342/bmj.d901. Separate blog post on the issue soon x)
It’s jumping through every hoop possible just to make it through
and then…..
you’re a doctor*
and responsible for other people's lives when it feels like you’ve barely had time to truly delve into your own...
But honestly,
there’s nothing else I’d rather do.
I'm only at the start of my medical career, but I know that medicine is special, in the sense that it opens a window like no other, shining a light on not only disease and cures but culture, society, politics, science and philosophy. I’m extremely lucky enough to be able to go into such an amazing and fulfilling profession. I’ve met some of my closest friends, amazing patients; inspirational role models and have been pushed way out of my comfort zone, towards personal growth. I’ve had the privilege of meeting so many different kinds of people, both patients, academics and other healthcare workers, who have broadened my knowledge and perspective of life as we know it.
This was just a short whistlestop tour of the medical school experience, as I hope to write more specifically on the topic in the future. But perhaps I did medical school wrong? Perhaps others have not found it nearly as difficult.
Yet for me, medical school has been a unique kind of intellectual challenge that coincides with an all-consuming, forcefully soul-making experience not for the faint-hearted. It takes a lot of guts and I deeply commend anyone who is on this journey right now.
- y
*a broke doctor - barely supported by the UN-LIVABLE NHS BURSARY (#livableNHSbursary please)